I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
