i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
