After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
