Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize