I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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