Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
