My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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