I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
