I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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