Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
