What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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