why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
