who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
