If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the day after is always just damage control
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
