i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
