I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Randomize
