here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
