I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize