For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
