On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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