i don't plan on having that self control this summer
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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