was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
