i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
