i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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