Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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