So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
