So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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