How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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