nutella sex= disaster
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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