oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
my poor anus
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
