new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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