why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
