nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
