Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
