i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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