your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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