You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
