i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
