He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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