non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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