this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
