Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize