I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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