I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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