What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize