Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
