is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
