There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She said her name was "party"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize