there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Me too!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
