Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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