He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
