I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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