wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize