Plan B is the new Plan A
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
