We named our party play list daddy issues
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
