why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
