He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
