i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
