I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
