All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
