Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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