hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
