I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We don't watch enough power rangers
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
