Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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