I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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