I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think my moral compass just broke
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
