my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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