If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
